When Leaders Want an Expert and Get a Mirror Instead

Mid series - Pause!

When leaders want an expert and get a mirror instead

Not everyone enjoys my workshops.

At least not straight away.

Most people leave feeling clearer, lighter, focused and hopeful about the work and the way forward. But a small number leave feeling frustrated. Not because the sessions were unclear or poorly designed, but because they weren’t expert-led in the way they expected.

They wanted answers. Best practice. Someone to tell them the answers to their problems.

Instead, they got space. Questions. Reflection. Shared responsibility.

For some, that feels uncomfortable. Even irritating!

In leadership development, we often value solutions over observations. But right now, leadership systems are under a specific kind of strain that a quick fix cannot solve.

The pull of expertise in uncertain times

This reaction makes sense.

When pressure is high, complexity is constant, and expectations keep rising, certainty feels reassuring. Expertise feels safe. It promises relief.

Just tell me what to do.

Many leaders have been rewarded for years for:

• having the answer

• projecting confidence

• reducing ambiguity for others

• moving quickly to action

So when leadership development slows things down rather than speeds them up, it can feel like something is missing.

But what’s often missing isn’t expertise.

It’s tolerance for not knowing.

The quiet dependency we don’t talk about

Here’s the uncomfortable truth.

Sometimes the desire for an expert isn’t about learning. It’s about outsourcing uncertainty.

If someone else has the answer:

• responsibility feels lighter

• doubt is contained

• complexity is simplified

But in today’s leadership reality - shaped by constant change, re-orgs, AI acceleration, and human strain - there often isn’t a single right answer.

And that’s precisely why leadership feels harder than it used to.

Why this work can feel unsettling

Human leadership work doesn’t remove uncertainty.

It asks leaders to:

• notice how they respond under pressure

• sit with ambiguity rather than rush to false certainty

• make sense of complexity together

• pay attention to how their leadership lands emotionally, not just operationally

That can feel exposing.

Not because leaders aren’t capable but because this work removes familiar shields: expertise, hierarchy, certainty.

And that’s often where resistance shows up.

Resistance isn’t failure - it’s information

When people push back on this kind of work, I don’t hear incompetence.

I hear:

• nervous systems under strain

• systems asking for certainty they can no longer provide

• leaders trained to perform, not pause

Resistance often signals the edge of development, the place where old leadership habits no longer fit, but new ones haven’t fully formed yet.

This isn’t anti-expertise. It’s anti-dependency.

To be clear: expertise matters. Frameworks matter. Capability, experience, and wisdom matter deeply. I can bring this, and do. But not straight away.

But this is no longer enough on its own.

In complex systems, leadership isn’t just about knowing more. It’s about being able to apply what you know:

• when emotions are high

• when information is incomplete

• when people disagree

• when there’s no obvious right answer

• when the organisation is restructuring and ways of working are unclear

That requires human capacity - not just technical skill.

A final reflection

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking or hearing your team say, “Just tell me what to do.”

Pause there.

That moment isn’t a failure. It’s a doorway.

And what’s on the other side isn’t certainty - it’s responsibility, shared sense-making, and a more human form of leadership.

If this resonates

This piece sits alongside others exploring how 'Leadership is changing in a world that's already changed', including why psychological safety is no longer a “culture nice-to-have”, but critical infrastructure for performance, learning, and trust.